Rants Raves and Random Thoughts

Old Friends - Bookends

2009-03-13T11:31:00.001-07:00

I called my best friend yesterday. When our call ended I noticed we had been talking for about an hour. I am sure that many best friends talk longer and more often than Jay and I. What stuck in my mind yesterday was the ease with which we talked.

I met Jay when I was 6 and he, almost a year older. He says, and I do not remember this, that I came up to him on our first day of school and announced, "I'm going to be your friend." And so it was for the duration of our formal schooling. After high school he left for the Navy and I got married. We brushed arms again as he was getting out of the Navy and I was just ready to join. Our paths took us far apart for the next forty years. We were each fighting the battles of life in our own distant corners. We stumbled upon each other about three years ago and hope to soon be living close enough to see each other on a regular basis.

As I remember the past, I can picture the two of us going into the woods with our BB guns on the trail of the deadly beer can or the savage empty bottle. The purity of that innocense still is in our hearts. It is the acceptance of one another no matter what. It is the secret never devulged. It is the conversation that continues even after the talking stops.

It was yesterday that I started to realize what an extrordinary gift the gods have given Jay and I. I, in turn, need to share my joy with others. Relish the flavor of the friendships you have. Nurture them and allow them to blossom. Share them with the world so that each and every day becomes better as a result.

Stories In The Snow

2009-02-20T11:43:00.000-08:00

After a recent snowfall I noticed these tracks just off our patio. They reminded me of a time in the distant past where I had seen another set of tracks. When I was a teen I would walk in the woods after a snow fall and see what I could determine from the signs the animals had left. On a very cold day in January I came upon a set of tracks that showed me a life and death story. There were rabbit tracks following a straight path through the trees. From off to the right and from behind a nearby bush a larger set of tracks intersected with the rabbit tracks. Where the tracks came together there was a deep red stain contrasted against the white covering. I could almost see the fox making a swift kill on the unsuspecting bunny. It was in that moment that I learned that each one of us should embrace the gift of life we have been given. For each of us the end could come from the next bush or with the next breath. Each of us need to live this life to the fullest and savor the setbacks as well as the achievements that come our way. These experiences are the things that nourish our spirits. We need to give ourselves the opportunity to feel all of life. In that way where our fox comes for us we can rest easy and be truly ready for whatever comes after.

Free Coffee

2009-02-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I had the misfortune to be at our local McDonalds on a Monday afternoon. I really had a craving for a quarter pounder so there I was. I observed a gaggle of elderly people who had apparently come for the "free stuff". McDonalds now have installed fancy coffee machines and on Mondays they give away a minuscule sample of latte, frappuccino or whatever the coffee machine will make. Now don't get me wrong, I do not have anything against old people as I am an old person myself. I guess what reaches me is the actions of these folks as a group.

There was a line of about 15 or 20 of them all waiting for the lone server at the counter to fix the concoctions. As my stepfather would have described the melee, "Like pigs to the trough". I found a seat at a table nearby and just watched the event play out. Each one of them in turn was given the shot glass size cup. Each in turn held the sample close as if it were the most valuable possession they owned. In the midst of the "coffee crises" an old woman who had just ordered a regular coffee shrieked, "Make sure I get my senior discount". I couldn't help but think that if five or ten cents is going to make that much difference then perhaps she shouldn't be here at all.

Eventually all were served and all went back to the section of the restaurant where they chose to perch. I got my sandwich and ate in silence reflecting on the typical human response to "free" or "discount". I thought of the clerk in Walmart last Christmas season who was trampled to death by customers trying to get limited amounts of product discounted to bring customers into the store. I still wonder, "Are most of us really that greedy?" Perhaps we should take time to reflect on our actions and make some changes to our character. All of the major religious teachings throughout the world tell us to concentrate on giving and serving rather than taking. Let us be selfless instead of selfish, acting as an individual instead of just part of a group. Perhaps this should be our focus this year and in all our years to come.

Are You Ready?

2009-01-30T08:01:00.000-08:00

It is almost here. It is looming on the horizon. It is the first (and very likely the last) time anyone will be able to celebrate this event. It is the digital conversion day for television. Do you have your digital conversion tree picked out? It is suggested that you pick a tree in the shape of a bi pole antenna and decorate with parts of obsolete electronic technology like the 8 track in the closet, the Atari in the attic or the CD containing Microsoft's last operating system that is stuck in your lap top, will not come out thus rendering said lap top, useless. Oh hell! Hang the lap top on the tree. They would have us believe that net books will replace lap tops anyway.

It is time to get your list of presents made and it is such good timing. All the stores have useless obsolete electronic junk that did not sell in December so pick up the photo key chain/shopping cart alarm or the web cam that doubles as a waffle iron or the USB pleasure pack. (I'll leave the latter to your imagination.) Make sure that you remember gifts to your uncle, grandchild, cleaning woman and mom. (Mom will not be able to operate the gizmo or device no matter how ancient the technology so plan on spending an hour or so each time you visit her going over the operation and use of said device.)

Do not forget to hang your antique Circuit City or Comp USA bags from the mantle on digital conversion day eve so that the nice man or woman from the FCC can stuff them with additional coupons and converters to make sure your digital conversion day is happy and bright. Make sure that you leave beer and those orange cheese crackers out for the FCC to snack on.

It is almost too late to send your digital conversion day cards so if you haven't started on them yet don't bother. (No one will notice.)

And so my friends, my wishes to each and everyone of you in this season of digital merriment, is to spay or neuter your pets, drink responsibly and as you bask in the twinkling light of red, blue and green LEDs, buy even more of the latest electronic components. China needs our business.

I Hereby Resolve.........

2009-01-12T06:36:00.001-08:00

First a little about me. I will be 62 years old this year. My wife is also my best friend, lover and partner. We have been married for 35 years. Our libidos are not as fiery as they were 30 years ago but we are still actively making a real connections in a physical way. Yesterday afternoon it was our plan to enjoy our physicality but neither one of us were 100% with the program. What we did instead is to take about an hour to just lay beside one another, skin touching skin and it seemed as if our minds intertwined. It occurred to me later that we as humans do not spend enough time just touching.

Our human condition is one of California King size beds, twin beds or even worse, separate bedrooms. I am certainly not condemning couples who have a medical or physical issue being intimate. I have sleep apnea and consequently have to wear a sleeping apparatus that keeps a positive pressure in my air way all night. What I am saying is that we need to find time to touch. Even if it is just a stroke of hand on neck or a brief kiss that is unexpected.

A few hints to help perpetuate intimacy might include: Don't pick a fight just before bedtime. If it has waited through the evening it can wait til morning. Pick out your partner's favorite food to have for dinner. Call your partner up during the day just to say that you love them. And of course find an opportunity to touch whenever possible.

Touching and unexpected kindnesses should not be used only with your partner. You should try to give your children and other members of your family the same type of gifts from your heart. You will start noticing that the people around you start to become more positive. You may even notice that you become a happier more content being. Just make this part of your resolutions for the coming year and see how much of a difference it makes in your life.